The Backstory
So I got asked the question the other day. I was speaking to someone and they asked me
“Why are you single? ”.
First off, I hate being asked that and I know I’m not the only one. It is a suitable question..well it was for our conversation. I mean, I wanted to know why he was single too. lol. So I answered. When I told him how long I’ve been single, I couldn’t help but laugh at his response. When I think about it, I sometimes can’t believe it myself, but hey, that’s what happens when you stop settling for less than you deserve.
Being single for over 8 years is not a curse, however, putting yourself out there to be open and willing to receive love can be a bit scary. After failed relationship after failed relationship, lies, drama, false hope, who wouldn’t be. I’m stepping out on faith this time and with a purpose. That purpose is to find my husband.
Godly Dating Event + My Takeaways
I recently attended an INCROWD Event with the young adult ministry at the church that I attend. It couldn’t have happened at a more perfect time. During our monthly Bible Study Session, we had a panel discussion called “ Dating with Purpose”. There were three married couples that came and shared their takes on dating, their truths and advice on dating before marriage, during and after you say I do. There were also breakout sessions between the wives and the husband’s. The discussion was amazing and they provided a wealth of knowledge. You should have been there! There were so many gems dropped but I caught a few. See my takeaways below.
Godly Dating Takeaways from the INCROWD Event
- Look at your singleness as a grace period
- Find happiness in your singleness while you’re waiting
- Have a blueprint on how you want your marriage to look
- Pray and be intentional about what you’re looking for
- Do the work on yourself first.
- Do not ignore the red flags
- Don’t waste time with someone you can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with
- Every “good” guy is not the right guy for you and vice versa
- Find your purpose in whatever season you are in until God moves you to the next season of your life
Benefits of Dating with Purpose
Dating with purpose can be a great way to find meaningful and lasting relationships. It means being intentional about who you date and what you want out of the relationship. Taking the time to get to know someone, asking the right questions, and understanding each other’s values and goals can help you create a strong connection and ensure that you’re both on the same page.
It’s important to be open and honest with each other, and to be willing to compromise. Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings and expectations, as this can help you both understand each other and make sure that the relationship is heading in the right direction. Additionally, it can also be a great way to find a partner who is compatible with your goals and values.
How to Start Dating with Purpose
A great place to start is to make two lists. One list will be of your non-negotiables or those red flags. The second would consist of the things that are important to you in a relationship and core values. Try to look for qualities that will help you have a fulfilling relationship in the long-term, such as honesty, integrity, and kindness. Keep both of these list top of mind when you’re out there looking for potential dates and when dating make sure to take time to get to know someone before committing to a long-term relationship.
Ways I’m Being Intentional with Dating
Disclaimer, this isn’t a one size fits all but In case you don’t know where or how to start, maybe this will help.
- I’m letting go of past relationship traumas
- I’m trusting myself to choose wisely
- I know what I want or what I’m looking for in a partner
- I’m using different resources to meet new people (Online dating)
- I’m praying for my future husband
- I’m getting out more
- When I do meet someone with potential, I have conversations to ensure our values align
These are just a few ways that I’m being intentional about who I allow to enter into my life. Stay tuned as I will go into more details in a later post.
With patience and dedication, dating with purpose can help you find the perfect person for you.
I wish and want that for all of us.
Good luck on your journey!
Xo,
Leah Marie
